As singles waiting on God for our spouse is often the hardest season. It isn’t meant to be the hardest. However, we make it. Why? Because the flesh does not want to be alone. What we don’t realize is our spirit man desires to grow closer to Jesus. We get so caught up in everyone else’s life around us who is either getting married or having babies. For many who might be getting up there in age and society or families are constantly reminding you, “your clock is ticking.”. When are you going to get married? Society treats being “single,” like its a curse. But let me remind you that Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthian 7:8-9 “So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.”
Don’t get me wrong; I am not saying we have to stay single forever. What I’m saying is desiring to get married to fill a void of loneliness or to have a warm body next to us at night. It is a recipe for disaster. Marriage is not built on intimacy. Furthermore, any marriage that is based on fulfilling a sexual desire will never last. The Lord is teaching me this is supposed to be our best season. It’s a season of pruning and throwing away the old you. Getting rid of the excess baggage, we picked up along the way from past relationships, childhood insecurities, and selfishness. In fact, many who enter into a marriage without being entirely pruned and delivered from certain habits find themselves fighting each other or running away from the union. They weren’t prepared. So if you are currently single and waiting on God, consider it a privilege that God has spared you the heartache and is working with you now. You have an opportunity to know Jesus on an intimate level with no distractions; no one is competing for your attention but Jesus. Therefore, our eyes should be on Him, the author, and finisher of our faith.
Yes, I know it’s hard but I’m getting to know Jesus more and falling in love with Him on a personal level. Can I tell you how sweet and peaceful that feels? No drama, I don’t have to wonder where He is or who He is with because He is always with me. How come I didn’t get a text back right away. I can be myself around Him. He knows me better than I know myself. Lately, I’ve been getting in my spirit the Lord want me to spend more time with Him. And to confirm it’s not emotions or my mind the Lord used someone to tell me He wants me to worship Him more. I’ve learned when God want to get a message to you He will use those around you who are in Christ. Especially if you are not sure if it’s him. It’s what believers called confirmation. Where the Holy Spirit revealed something to you personally, then He will use others to confirm what He said to you.
So yesterday I started “date day.” I woke up and went to an early morning prayer service at church. I went to Target, the nail salon and came home. I did all those things with Jesus on my mind. I walked and talked to Him. On my way home, I was talking to Him about the blog and what I should write for my second post. As I was getting ready to wash my hair (which is pretty much a process, all my natural sisters out there know what I mean), I heard “date day with Jesus.” Understand, when I woke up that morning to be intentional about my relationship with the Lord, it wasn’t my intention to call it “date day with Jesus.” But at that very moment, it was birth in my spirit I understood the Lord loud and clear. What is “date day with Jesus?” It’s me being intentional about spending time with Him. It’s me being intentional about getting to know Him. I’m not ignoring Him. I’m talking to Him and inviting Him to come along with me wherever I go. Even though He is always present, I don’t always acknowledge Him in everything I do. Which many of us can attest to this? So I started being intentional about Him. I am dating Jesus. The same way I would feel about dating a guy. I want that feeling with Him. I don’t know about anyone else. In the past, when I met a guy for the first time, I can’t stop thinking about him. I want to spend as much time getting to know him. So I want that with Jesus.
I hear a lot of married couples having “date day or night” once a week to spend time with each other. I think that’s great. But I can’t help but think about singles who barely even spend time getting to know Jesus yet we want to be married. If we can’t intentionally spend time with Jesus who we don’t see how will we intentionally spend the rest of our lives with ONE person (let me put some emphasis on it but the SAME person). The only time many utter His name is when they find themselves in deep water. Let’s be honest if you are dating a guy/girl and he/she barely call/text or even bother to check on you. How would that make you feel? Not good right? Well, think about how Jesus feels when we go about our daily lives, not even acknowledging Him. Not one “thank you for waking me up this morning Lord,” I know you didn’t have to. No, “thank you for my paycheck this week,” and the list of things goes on. But here we are complaining about waiting for that spouse right? We don’t take time out to intentionally get to know Jesus. There is so much He would like to reveal to us about our purpose and future. But He can’t do that because He can’t trust us. Would you share your secrets with someone who rarely calls you or take the time to get to know you?
I’ve been saved for six years, and I desire to go deeper with the Lord. I want a closer walk with the Holy Spirit. I have not been intentional throughout my walk with the Lord. I think I have been selfish in my walk. I was this spoiled brat acting as though God HAVE to do whatever I tell Him especially since I accepted HIM. I was wrong, God does not owe me a thing. I need Him more than He needs me. This year I grew a lot spiritually. I did not pray as much this year. I think all my prayers from the last five years was stored up in heaven in a bottle. I did more worshipping and reading the word. It’s like God was just waiting for me to start pursuing Him and not what He can do for me. As a result, He has done wonders in my life this year. He began to reveal my purpose to me. I still need Him to make it clearer to me, but I have an idea now. So I’m intentionally choosing to pursue Him now more than ever.
Please understand, for us to live extraordinary lives in this carnal world, we need this relationship. For us to truly stand out and be that light we are going to have to allow God to have His way with us. Yes, one can be successful on their own, but it will be hard to maintain it. There are many “self-made” people out here suffering in silence, taking pill after pill to sleep at night or to calm their nerves. Have you ever wonder why so many famous and wealthy people find themselves addicted to drugs, alcohol, or worst committing suicide. The pressure to succeed or keep riches REAL. The pressure to live is real. Plus they don’t have to be rich, nonbelievers who don’t know Jesus experience the same pressure. Before I got saved, I was there. Hennessy was my favorite drink to pre-game to in college. I just wanted to be numb to all my problems. When alcohol could no longer do it for me, I almost tapped out of life. Life was too much for me, and I could no longer rely on my strength. But thank God for Jesus I no longer have to drink to numb anything!
Last week, my pastor preached on “partnering with the Holy Spirit for an effective lifestyle.” She talked about “how we should rely on the Holy Spirit to help us make decisions. She also said when we partner with the Holy Spirit we can expect results.” But why? Because we no longer rely on our own understanding. He is leading us and directing us on which way we should go. He can lead you to where He has the right job for you. The bank that will provide the loan for the business or dream house. It’s hard to get this type of guidance when we take God out of the equation. Many will preach and talk about God but never mention the Holy Ghost. I don’t think we realize how important it is to develop a relationship with the Holy Spirit. Jesus promised us a Comforter in John 14:26 “But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.” We need the Holy Spirit to guide us in truth. He enables us to do the will of God and for it to manifest in our lives. So it’s important to “date Jesus,” and to have a relationship with the Holy Spirit. We need God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit to sustain us on this earth. Three persons but one God! They are all one. You can’t go to one without acknowledging the other. To you who might be wondering “why can’t I hear from God?”, “where is my spouse God?” or “Why am I stressed, depressed and oppressed?” It might be a good idea to date Jesus. Get to know Him so He can reveal more of Himself to you. Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you. David said in Psalm 55:22 “Cast your cares on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”
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Until next time God bless you richly for reading.