I’ve been journaling since I was 11 years old. In fact, I kept a diary with all my hidden thoughts from the world. It has always been between God and me. Writing was always my outlet to express myself. I’m an introvert, the best way to express myself is through writing. At the end of my toughest season, I started back journaling. I’m sort of upset with myself I stopped journaling when God delivered me from the situation. But then I started my blog shortly after the season was over. I guess it helped me to pick up writing again. God used this journal to bring me back to my love for writing.
While cleaning, last weekend I came across my journal I started during that season of my life, and I believe the Lord is leading me to share my thoughts with someone. Someone needs to read the thoughts of my agony, frustration, anger, hurt, the revolt that built up the faith I have. How my faith fueled me and encouraged me and led me out of my last season. It’s by faith in God I was able to breakthrough from my situation and NOT breakdown. It’s during my last season; I realize how powerful the declarations of my words were. I’m not kidding when I say, “I’M JUST A GIRL LIVING BY FAITH.” It is my lifestyle. The mentality I developed in my last season has grown tremendously, and today I see tangible evidence of my faith.
So for this month of April (only) in honor of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, I’m kicking off my “Journal Chronicles Series,” every Wednesday. I’ll share a journal entry from the pages of my journal. The first entry I wrote to myself “Why were you born?” This entry was the turning point in my season. I needed to find out my why. It’s when we find out our why we begin to start living out our days as who God has called us to be. I wish I would have started journaling back in 2013. Because that’s was the beginning of the toughest season I’ve endured as a Christian. In the first page of my journal, I started out ministering to myself.
God said in Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you,” which means before I was born He knew me. Before I was a thought in my parent’s mind, He knew me. I was with Him; He had already known who and what He called me to be before sending me into this world.
However, when we came into this world, we became contaminated by all the things that happened to us as we walk through this thing called life. Like the pains and trials of life. The heartbreak, abuse, rebellion, resentment, rejection, etc. Therefore, when you went through these things, it began to shape and mold you into someone you are not. Someone God did not call you to be.
You began to develop resentment, hate, heartlessness and other habits because of the way life treated you, owing to the cards you were dealt. It was never God’s intention for you to go through life like this, but circumstances happened. But this isn’t who you are. It’s not who God created you to be. You need to find out who God has called you to be. When you find out who you are in Christ Jesus, you will know your purpose!
My Conclusion today:
You would never believe, this first short entry helped me to let go of all the hurt and anger I felt in life. I felt abandon by others. People who I was there for when I needed their support no one came to my aide. The same people turned around to slander my name. They went to great length to make sure I would never rise again. But the Lord said, “the same spirit that raise Jesus from the dead, lives in me today.” The same resurrection power would lift my head above my enemies. The stone the builder refused would become the head cornerstone. For a very long time, I thought I would never be able to let go of the anger and hurt I felt. I thought this is me, people are either going to like it or leave it. YES, even as a Christian saved for five years, I battled with letting go of the old man I struggled in walking in the new man. The new creature. I think there is a misperception among Christians when they get saved. We believe as soon as we accept Jesus automatically those ways and habits we picked up while in the world goes away. Some do, but we also have strongholds that we need to get rid of as well. We have to get rid of the carnal mind, learning to surrender and walking in obedience. We’ve rebelled for so long while we were in the world.
I rebelled for 22 years; I was away from Christ. I was conceived in sin. I grew up in sin. Now that I have been born again. I NEEDED to shed layers of all the ways and habits of the world I picked up when I was in sin. I have not entirely shed all of my layers, but I’ve come a long way. God is not through with me, and He who started a good work in me will continue it until the day of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ returns (Philippians 1:6).
What outlet (hobby) do you use as a way to encourage yourself or take your mind off of things?
Did you enjoy this post? Share it with someone. You never know what a person might be going through. An act as simple as sharing a post can be a blessing in their lives.
Until next time God Bless you richly for reading 🙂
The continuation of this series will pick up next Wednesday.